ANOTHER NIGHT AT THE PUB ALONE
21.2.02

Well I went out again, and even after literally begging Darrelle to come out with me, she still left early as usual. She wanted to catch a lift home with her Mum, when she finished work......which was around midnight. So the time thereafter, till about 4.15 when the DJ turned on the lights.....usually removing most people from the room.......did not work last night, so he actually had people around when his song finished. He was surprised at that. But with the round of applause he got he was pretty happy we all stayed. It was am awesome night.

I met some people at the pub, that I think I will be pretty good friends with in the future. Last night if I remember correctly, they would be Peta, Marnie, Alicia, Bec and Zoe ... but I knew Zoe already seeing that I went to primary school with her, it was definitely a surprise to see her again. A pleasant one, but a surprise nonetheless.

Happy news for me, I look gay. Yes this is a good thing. Well at least Peta picked it. Asked reservedly, but asked. "Can I ask you something?" that questions generally only gets followed by the question. "Tell me to fuck off if you don't want to answer, or find the question offensive but are you gay?" My response was a fervent "Yeah,...I am!" to which she decided to tell me that she was too. "But you already knew that didn't you?".......Well I did have an inkling that she was indeed gay. And with Zoe following her around the pub so closely I assumed they were together. Well they might be together, but someone is still pretending/hiding and stating they are straight/confused. Well I guess in time Peta will move on, which seems unlikely, or Zoe will come to terms with it, and come out.

[Now doesn't that have a scary twist, me, the most inexperienced gay chick in the region probably and here I am giving advice to others, I really must stop that]

Well someone else knows......outside of my friends and a few family members.......ok two family members. But I am getting there. More will know soon. Though I am not to sure if/when I should do that, but I suspect my 21st birthday would not really be the place for that.

I have a sneaking suspicion that many of my family members would be in too much shock to say anything there, but I would totally cop it later on......the barrage of questions would flow on for days...weeks...months........and niggling little comments forever after.....That or complete silence. Denial.