NOT SO SLEEPY
13.07.02

The rest of this entry will recollect the stuff I did yesterday. Another will follow telling the stuff I did today.

I met Turtle. And actually had the opportunity to spend some time with her. She seems really nice, I am still jealous of her becoming so close and intimate with Jem, but I guess that will stick around, and is not really specific to her. Really short peroxide blonde hair, that so glows under the UV black lights, [love that effect] apparently short, but not in my opinion. She is taller than Blue was, so short isn’t really applicable. She is into drinking and pills a bit too much for my liking, but once again, it may not matter too much what I think. She hasn’t come across to me as someone I would choose to spend a lot of my time with, but I have nothing against her. She seems genuinely nice, and well and truly working for Jem. All good luck to her for her good taste. Hehe.

I also made a few purchases today. A t-shirt and a book from Hares and Hyenas. [Queer bookshop, South Yarra] On the front it has a nice little definition of ‘love’. One that is very poignant, and politically orientated toward anti-discrimination based on race, age or gender. And a book on lesbian sexuality, which is bound to be an insightful read.

Tonight Jem took me to The Espy. They have bands play there most nights, and I was privileged enough to experience the musical sounds of ‘Grand Silent System’. They were pretty good, by my standards, but having spent so much time around electronically created music, it took me a fair while to get into it. But once in, it was quite enjoyable. The surrounding atmosphere was amazing, for such an old and large pub, it certainly did get the patronage to keep it running. The music and bands coming to the area and dropping by must be working well for them.

After The Espy, we picked up Turtle from work and went to Girlbar @ The Prince. That was totally awesome, about 4-500 chicks all in one/two rooms. Great music, great scenery, I wanna go back, next month. That is the good part of the night, now moving on to the extraordinarily jealous part. Jem kissing Turtle. Was not a highlight of my evening at all. Having Turtle there was ok, seeing them kiss was not by any account of the evening pleasant. At that point in the evening I decided it was time for me to go dance over here……..far away from them. I couldn’t look at them any longer, so I got out of the situation.

I knew it was happening, but really didn’t want to see it.

This is the point at which I realised that I still had serious feelings for Jem, that I could not really be subsided by telling myself we had no chance together. But seeing Jem and Turtle together realised that a relationship is something that Jem and I cannot have, or perhaps even want at the moment.